On Friday May 17th, I woke up and went to the restroom. Its so regular for me now to have to go pee about 3 times a night. I hate nothing more than having to get up in the middle of my sleep for something so trivial as to pee. This part bugs me, why can't it wait, lol.
Well when I was wiping, I saw light pink blood. Eric came into the bathroom a few minutes later and I told him. My heart was broken. I didn't want to see blood, I didn't want to loose this baby, this is not fair!
I called my RE's office and the nurse I don't like was there - There was no way I wanted to talk to her and be left on a horrible bad note for another weekend! However one of my good nurses was due to come in at noon so I waited and called back. By then I had some more blood that was a dark red, almost brown, which I had read is not a bad sign. I was still worried and the nurse did tell me that with IVF, spotting is common and as long as I was not having heavy bleeding or clots or cramping, that I should be ok and to take it easy. She was so nice and I felt so good and comfortable with a little spotting. By the end of the day it stopped.
I decided to take it easy all weekend. I was almost afraid to move and disrupt anything. On Saturday I was walking in the kitchen and felt a gush and found that I was now bleeding. It slowed down to just spotting, the then the same thing happened again on Sunday. This time I was very lightly bleeding for the rest of the night and the next day I was spotting. I still didn't have cramps or clots, I felt good about that, but what if I missed something or what if I was bleeding too much? Where is this blood coming from, what's going on? What did I do wrong.
I called the office on Monday morning and the nurse said that even bleeding can be ok and normal in an IVF pregnancy. I read tons of stories on-line where lots of women went through this and had good pregnancies, but they were also able to go in and be checked to make sure everything was okay. The soonest I was able to get an appointment and make that 2.5 hour drive was over a week away! I didn't know if I could stand the unknown that long!!
I called my local OBGYN and him and his staff was so wonderful to fit me in for a very quick appointment that day, right after I go off work! I was so excited and very nervous. I was still expecting bad news, so I went alone to be able to deal with it.
The wait was killing me! It was so hard and I was so worried.
Finally Im laying on the table and he starts the sonogram. Right away he was able to find our baby and I could clearly see the little fluttering of his heart beating! It was like Christmas! I was so relieved to see his or her heart just beating away. The doctor started moving the probe around and we saw another sac come onto the screen and he said "Oh you have two". I saw something and he said he saw the heartbeat, but I didn't so he pointed it out and I started to clearly see our twin baby's heart beat too! I really was expecting bad news and we found double good news. Two little growing babies with hearts beating.
I read tons of posts earlier that morning about bleeding at 6 weeks, most of the girls were saying that they had lots of bleeding and they had twins. I didn't think that was possible for me because my HCG levels didn't grow properly at first so I was told that only one embryo made it, which was great for me. Having twins was the farthest from my mind.
Here I sit 24 hours later and my own heart is still beating fast, I am a ball of nerves for a whole new reason. How can we afford two babies? I have to keep two growing babies in me for 9 months, I have to eat better and focus on their health twice as much. Where are we going to put two? What is the next few months, next few years going to be like? Am I ready? This is crazy, and exciting all at the same time. Im sure me and my family will be happy as can be in 8-9 months when these little new people come into the world.
Keep growing my little ones. Mommy, daddy. brother and sister love you. (And we better work on getting ready for you both!)
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
HCG counts driving me crazy!
HCG tests:
5/1/13 Beta #1 =165
5/3/13 Beta #2 = 265
5/5/13 Beta #3 = 530!
Because I live far away from the RE's office I was given lab slips to get my blood work done in my hometown without having to make a long drive to the office.
I chose to go directly to the hospital, because after some research I found out that not only were the tests cheaper, but all the blood from the other clinics are analyzed at the hospital and about 45 minutes after each test I could go into the records department and get my results. I thought waiting 3 minutes to see a pink line was a long wait, waiting for the blood work results made me near-crazy!
I took the 1st one and I was pretty excited, because anything over 5 HCG is pregnant, but the doctor wants to see the count over 50, so I was feeling good and made Eric call his mom that night to let her know that there is a bun in the oven. Part of me is still in shock that this IVF worked the 1st time! Its amazing that we got such great results!
I took the 2nd test and the goal is to see the HCG level double in 2 days. My heart sunk when I saw that my count only went up by 100. I was worried and waiting for my nurse to call. Meanwhile I hopped on the Internet to quickly search the details of HCG levels rising. I found that most women have a rise in 48 hours but HCG should double in 48-72 hours and the pregnancy is still on track. Right as I read that, the nurse called. She was not my regular nurse that I always talk to and she said that she was concerned. She gave me a possible scenario: because we transferred 2 embryos that it was possible that they both implanted and then I got the 1st high count, and then right after that one stopped progressing which is why my count continued to raise, but not with-in 48 hours.
This news came to me on Friday. The nurse suggested another blood test on Sunday to double check. She said "We will wait and see" ..... Easy for her to say! I now have to wait 2 days to see if my baby is growing right :( If one stopped progressing, what if the other stops too? I was freaking out!
I went to the hospital on Sunday and waited 45 minutes to go down and get my results, but because it was the weekend they didn't have them. I had to wait another day to call my nurse. I talked with her at 8am on Monday and she said that she didn't get my blood work yet and she had been on the phone with the hospital and they lost my results! LOST THEM??? Are you kidding me?? What about my count, what about my baby, am I still pregnant, how will I know what my count is now?
I was happy that the nurse dealing with this was my regular one, whom I love. She was dealing with the hospital while I was freaking out and wishing that I could get off work to kick some ass at the hospital!. The nurse called a few hours later to tell me that they had to re-run my sample to get my count again and it was at 530. It doubled in 24 hours! Great! She also said it was possible that one of the embryos that implanted had stopped progressing, she said that sometimes counts don't always double every 48 hours, she also explained that because I have OHSS that my counts could be off. Why couldn't I hear all these things on Friday, instead of having to stress all weekend?
Long story short is that I am pregnant, everything so far is good and we are a happy family who is ready for a little baby in 9 months :)
My 1st ultrasound where I will be able to see the baby's heartbeat is on the 28th. Another 3 long week wait!
Meanwhile, I have a hard time eating because I feel so full from the bloating. However at times I feel starving and could eat the house. I am also the most tired person in America. I am in bed by 8pm, although I wish it was earlier.
I'm pretty sure the kiddos are ready for this and as excited as I am. Last night Bash and Eric had fun tormenting me with every silly name they could think of!
5/1/13 Beta #1 =165
5/3/13 Beta #2 = 265
5/5/13 Beta #3 = 530!
Because I live far away from the RE's office I was given lab slips to get my blood work done in my hometown without having to make a long drive to the office.
I chose to go directly to the hospital, because after some research I found out that not only were the tests cheaper, but all the blood from the other clinics are analyzed at the hospital and about 45 minutes after each test I could go into the records department and get my results. I thought waiting 3 minutes to see a pink line was a long wait, waiting for the blood work results made me near-crazy!
I took the 1st one and I was pretty excited, because anything over 5 HCG is pregnant, but the doctor wants to see the count over 50, so I was feeling good and made Eric call his mom that night to let her know that there is a bun in the oven. Part of me is still in shock that this IVF worked the 1st time! Its amazing that we got such great results!
I took the 2nd test and the goal is to see the HCG level double in 2 days. My heart sunk when I saw that my count only went up by 100. I was worried and waiting for my nurse to call. Meanwhile I hopped on the Internet to quickly search the details of HCG levels rising. I found that most women have a rise in 48 hours but HCG should double in 48-72 hours and the pregnancy is still on track. Right as I read that, the nurse called. She was not my regular nurse that I always talk to and she said that she was concerned. She gave me a possible scenario: because we transferred 2 embryos that it was possible that they both implanted and then I got the 1st high count, and then right after that one stopped progressing which is why my count continued to raise, but not with-in 48 hours.
This news came to me on Friday. The nurse suggested another blood test on Sunday to double check. She said "We will wait and see" ..... Easy for her to say! I now have to wait 2 days to see if my baby is growing right :( If one stopped progressing, what if the other stops too? I was freaking out!
I went to the hospital on Sunday and waited 45 minutes to go down and get my results, but because it was the weekend they didn't have them. I had to wait another day to call my nurse. I talked with her at 8am on Monday and she said that she didn't get my blood work yet and she had been on the phone with the hospital and they lost my results! LOST THEM??? Are you kidding me?? What about my count, what about my baby, am I still pregnant, how will I know what my count is now?
I was happy that the nurse dealing with this was my regular one, whom I love. She was dealing with the hospital while I was freaking out and wishing that I could get off work to kick some ass at the hospital!. The nurse called a few hours later to tell me that they had to re-run my sample to get my count again and it was at 530. It doubled in 24 hours! Great! She also said it was possible that one of the embryos that implanted had stopped progressing, she said that sometimes counts don't always double every 48 hours, she also explained that because I have OHSS that my counts could be off. Why couldn't I hear all these things on Friday, instead of having to stress all weekend?
Long story short is that I am pregnant, everything so far is good and we are a happy family who is ready for a little baby in 9 months :)
My 1st ultrasound where I will be able to see the baby's heartbeat is on the 28th. Another 3 long week wait!
Meanwhile, I have a hard time eating because I feel so full from the bloating. However at times I feel starving and could eat the house. I am also the most tired person in America. I am in bed by 8pm, although I wish it was earlier.
I'm pretty sure the kiddos are ready for this and as excited as I am. Last night Bash and Eric had fun tormenting me with every silly name they could think of!
6 Days Past 5 Day Transfer
I took my home pregnancy test..... I swear waiting 3 minutes can take FOREVER!
There is a faint pink line. I had to go into the front room where the sun was shining brighter.
Two days later I took another test and the little pink line was a little darker and easier to read.
There is a faint pink line. I had to go into the front room where the sun was shining brighter.
Two days later I took another test and the little pink line was a little darker and easier to read.
Monday, April 29, 2013
5 Days Past the Transfer
The bed rest made me feel awesome! I really needed that to get over the pain. If I ever have to do an egg retrieval again, I will take a day off afterwards! What was I thinking?
Here I am though, 5 days after the transfer and about noon I started to feel like a blimp again. It seemed worse than last time. The rest of the day I am wondering, does this mean that I am pregnant and HCG is running through my body, because this is what I was told would make the OHSS come back.
After work I went to the store and got a home pregnancy test. I bought an E.P.T. one. I was reading the boxes and the EPT said it was good for 5 days before your missed period, and there was a First Response test that said it would work 6 days before your missed period. In my tired state I thought 5 sounded better so I got that one. Then I was reading the box at home and realized that the First Response give results one day EARLIER.... I went back to the store to get that one!
I went to bed that night and I was totally uncomfortable. My stomach was an over-inflated balloon and it was hard to move, hard to sleep and I work up sore and still bloated. I did dream of seeing two lines :)
I woke up and its time for my test!!
Here I am though, 5 days after the transfer and about noon I started to feel like a blimp again. It seemed worse than last time. The rest of the day I am wondering, does this mean that I am pregnant and HCG is running through my body, because this is what I was told would make the OHSS come back.
After work I went to the store and got a home pregnancy test. I bought an E.P.T. one. I was reading the boxes and the EPT said it was good for 5 days before your missed period, and there was a First Response test that said it would work 6 days before your missed period. In my tired state I thought 5 sounded better so I got that one. Then I was reading the box at home and realized that the First Response give results one day EARLIER.... I went back to the store to get that one!
I went to bed that night and I was totally uncomfortable. My stomach was an over-inflated balloon and it was hard to move, hard to sleep and I work up sore and still bloated. I did dream of seeing two lines :)
I woke up and its time for my test!!
5th day Egg Transfer
April 22nd
Oh what a painful week. I still was very sore from the surgery.
I also ended up get OHSS (ovary hyper stimulation syndrome). Because of all the shots to over grow my eggs, which caused my ovaries to be large and then water collects in them and in my stomach for a wonderful (not) big fat tummy. I felt like I was pregnant at about 9 months. I actually wobbled and had to ease myself to a sitting and standing position. I was really uncomfortable. On top of that, I couldn't poop because of the pain medications. I was a blimp!
Come to find out there is really nothing I could do about it. Just drink fluids to make it not get worse. Eventually I pooped and that helped me to feel a little better.
We got to the office and I started out with 30 minutes of acupuncture. I'm still not really liking needles, and please tell me why she must stick them in the top of my head?? LOL
Right after I was done Eric and I changed into our hospital clothes. He got to look like a doctor and I had to look like a mental patient. The doctor came in and told us that our embryos grew very nice and there were two that were graded at a perfect AA and those were the two he would transfer today, depending on how many we wanted to transfer.
Oh The Gamble.....
Its really hard to decide on one or two embryos. I don't really want to be pregnant with twins, however what if this is our only chance and the rest of the eggs don't freeze. I don't want to go through another fresh IVF. Our RE explained that the chance of implantation is greater with 2 eggs. I did read something about this, there are some studies that claim that two embryos help to implant one or each other. What the heck, I was all about getting success out of this, so we went with two.
We went into the same little surgery room that I had my egg retrieval in. I got to be awake for this whole thing. Let me tell you, I almost wish I was asleep, not because there was any pain, but I had to let down all my walls. 1st there was this little "drive-thru" window as Eric called it, it led to the embryologist. At 1st he wasn't there, but he arrived to hand over our little embryos to the RE for the transfer. Before that could happen the RE had to clean my vagina out. My thighs are up in stilts so my legs are VERY spread open, and he had to shoot water up there. I am used to douching, but Ive never had anyone do it for me! I also didn't need the guy at the drive-thru window right in front of my open vagina too! I got to rest for a few minutes after the transfer and then I had to pee and go into my other room.
In the other room, I had a good laugh about the guy at the drive-thru window. I don't order burgers with my legs spread!
My wonderful Arial did another 30 minutes of acupuncture with me. I didn't really rest though, because my mind was racing. I ended up calling my nurse in to talk to me about all the things that I was worried about, like what I could and couldn't do, what I should eat, and on and on. I knew most of this stuff, I really just needed to be reassured, and I did feel better when she left.
I got dressed and we left. Off to two days of bed rest. After all the pain from the retrieval and having to work all the days after that, I was really looking forward to bed rest!
Oh what a painful week. I still was very sore from the surgery.
I also ended up get OHSS (ovary hyper stimulation syndrome). Because of all the shots to over grow my eggs, which caused my ovaries to be large and then water collects in them and in my stomach for a wonderful (not) big fat tummy. I felt like I was pregnant at about 9 months. I actually wobbled and had to ease myself to a sitting and standing position. I was really uncomfortable. On top of that, I couldn't poop because of the pain medications. I was a blimp!
Come to find out there is really nothing I could do about it. Just drink fluids to make it not get worse. Eventually I pooped and that helped me to feel a little better.
We got to the office and I started out with 30 minutes of acupuncture. I'm still not really liking needles, and please tell me why she must stick them in the top of my head?? LOL
Right after I was done Eric and I changed into our hospital clothes. He got to look like a doctor and I had to look like a mental patient. The doctor came in and told us that our embryos grew very nice and there were two that were graded at a perfect AA and those were the two he would transfer today, depending on how many we wanted to transfer.
Oh The Gamble.....
Its really hard to decide on one or two embryos. I don't really want to be pregnant with twins, however what if this is our only chance and the rest of the eggs don't freeze. I don't want to go through another fresh IVF. Our RE explained that the chance of implantation is greater with 2 eggs. I did read something about this, there are some studies that claim that two embryos help to implant one or each other. What the heck, I was all about getting success out of this, so we went with two.
We went into the same little surgery room that I had my egg retrieval in. I got to be awake for this whole thing. Let me tell you, I almost wish I was asleep, not because there was any pain, but I had to let down all my walls. 1st there was this little "drive-thru" window as Eric called it, it led to the embryologist. At 1st he wasn't there, but he arrived to hand over our little embryos to the RE for the transfer. Before that could happen the RE had to clean my vagina out. My thighs are up in stilts so my legs are VERY spread open, and he had to shoot water up there. I am used to douching, but Ive never had anyone do it for me! I also didn't need the guy at the drive-thru window right in front of my open vagina too! I got to rest for a few minutes after the transfer and then I had to pee and go into my other room.
In the other room, I had a good laugh about the guy at the drive-thru window. I don't order burgers with my legs spread!
My wonderful Arial did another 30 minutes of acupuncture with me. I didn't really rest though, because my mind was racing. I ended up calling my nurse in to talk to me about all the things that I was worried about, like what I could and couldn't do, what I should eat, and on and on. I knew most of this stuff, I really just needed to be reassured, and I did feel better when she left.
I got dressed and we left. Off to two days of bed rest. After all the pain from the retrieval and having to work all the days after that, I was really looking forward to bed rest!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Egg Retival
April 17th <--- Also my birthday :)
We got to the office and had to sit in the waiting room. Out of all my visits this was the longest time I have ever had to be in the waiting room. Eric needed to use the restroom so he went into the back area, then I heard him talking to someone which sounded like they were asking for him to give a sample. He didn't come back into the waiting room so I had to figure that he was indeed back there doing his thing and making the little sperms that will meet up with my eggs soon. As I sat there (knowing what he was doing), it made me a little sad that I didn't get the chance to do something special for him or to at least kiss him and excite him just a little. I was angry at the lady for not letting us see each other first so we could be special together. Again, this part is the only part of the whole IVF process that bothers me for being too clinical (not that there is anything different they could do). I wanted to make it a tiny bit more loving for us. Oh well, buy the time I felt that I should say something, I figured he was in the middle and I didn't want to ruin it.
He came out and sat in the waiting room with me for a few more minutes then we went in the back so I could dress up in my sexy hospital clothes. I was then hooked up to an IV and taken into a small operating room. It was very small and there were about 4 nurses in there and my RE would be there soon too. The nurse put another tube in my IV and before I knew it I was back in the recovery room. Wow that was fast, or so it seemed. I later heard that he retrieved 25 eggs from me.
We went to my mother-in-laws home to rest for a bit. The pain hit me! I was begging for pills. The ride home was a bit painful, I couldn't eat and I was majorly uncomfortable. I was hoping for a birthday dinner, but all I wanted was more pills and my bed!
Due to all my appointments, I had no choice to work the next day, as a matter of fact I didn't have a day off for 5 days until my egg transfer. I would NOT recommend this!
I got a call the next day, 16 eggs and 16 sperms came together to start 16 wonderful little embryos. They looked like they were dividing at the right pace so we were scheduled for a five day transfer.
We got to the office and had to sit in the waiting room. Out of all my visits this was the longest time I have ever had to be in the waiting room. Eric needed to use the restroom so he went into the back area, then I heard him talking to someone which sounded like they were asking for him to give a sample. He didn't come back into the waiting room so I had to figure that he was indeed back there doing his thing and making the little sperms that will meet up with my eggs soon. As I sat there (knowing what he was doing), it made me a little sad that I didn't get the chance to do something special for him or to at least kiss him and excite him just a little. I was angry at the lady for not letting us see each other first so we could be special together. Again, this part is the only part of the whole IVF process that bothers me for being too clinical (not that there is anything different they could do). I wanted to make it a tiny bit more loving for us. Oh well, buy the time I felt that I should say something, I figured he was in the middle and I didn't want to ruin it.
He came out and sat in the waiting room with me for a few more minutes then we went in the back so I could dress up in my sexy hospital clothes. I was then hooked up to an IV and taken into a small operating room. It was very small and there were about 4 nurses in there and my RE would be there soon too. The nurse put another tube in my IV and before I knew it I was back in the recovery room. Wow that was fast, or so it seemed. I later heard that he retrieved 25 eggs from me.
We went to my mother-in-laws home to rest for a bit. The pain hit me! I was begging for pills. The ride home was a bit painful, I couldn't eat and I was majorly uncomfortable. I was hoping for a birthday dinner, but all I wanted was more pills and my bed!
Due to all my appointments, I had no choice to work the next day, as a matter of fact I didn't have a day off for 5 days until my egg transfer. I would NOT recommend this!
I got a call the next day, 16 eggs and 16 sperms came together to start 16 wonderful little embryos. They looked like they were dividing at the right pace so we were scheduled for a five day transfer.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Trigger shot!
April 15th
I got home from work, did some stuff and then sat down and went over the schedule for the next week that the nurse gave me with Eric. It was 8pm and at midnight we had to do the HCG trigger shot.
This is timed shot that has to be done at a specific time to start the finial maturing and releasing of my eggs for my egg retrieval appointment.
So we were reading the instructions, and its funny that will all my other shots the nurse gave me visual instructions, but with this shot she went over the whole weeks schedule and where to do the shot but she didn't give me a visual. Ive done many shots at this point so I didn't think it was a big deal. Draw up liquid, shoot it in powder, mix, draw it back up and inject.
So the HCG box comes with 2 bottles. One liquid and one powder. The liquid bottle was big and the instructions said to draw up 1cc. The needle however had measurements in "ML". Eric wanted to draw up all the liquid - that would have been one massive shot and it wouldn't have all fit in one needle. I was freaking out, this is so important and has to be done right. I felt there was no choice but to call my RE after hours and find out. I left a message and he called back in a few minutes. I felt dumb but he was very understanding. He even said they should change the wording on the form I was given. It turns out the 1cc and 1ml are the same. Yay.
I was asleep at midnight and Eric woke me up. I was totally grumpy with him, poor guy. Then he said he couldn't find the HCG box and I was irritated and mean. But he found it and we completed the shot.
After a poke I was back to sleep :)
Next day was shot free for me!
I got home from work, did some stuff and then sat down and went over the schedule for the next week that the nurse gave me with Eric. It was 8pm and at midnight we had to do the HCG trigger shot.
This is timed shot that has to be done at a specific time to start the finial maturing and releasing of my eggs for my egg retrieval appointment.
So we were reading the instructions, and its funny that will all my other shots the nurse gave me visual instructions, but with this shot she went over the whole weeks schedule and where to do the shot but she didn't give me a visual. Ive done many shots at this point so I didn't think it was a big deal. Draw up liquid, shoot it in powder, mix, draw it back up and inject.
So the HCG box comes with 2 bottles. One liquid and one powder. The liquid bottle was big and the instructions said to draw up 1cc. The needle however had measurements in "ML". Eric wanted to draw up all the liquid - that would have been one massive shot and it wouldn't have all fit in one needle. I was freaking out, this is so important and has to be done right. I felt there was no choice but to call my RE after hours and find out. I left a message and he called back in a few minutes. I felt dumb but he was very understanding. He even said they should change the wording on the form I was given. It turns out the 1cc and 1ml are the same. Yay.
I was asleep at midnight and Eric woke me up. I was totally grumpy with him, poor guy. Then he said he couldn't find the HCG box and I was irritated and mean. But he found it and we completed the shot.
After a poke I was back to sleep :)
Next day was shot free for me!
Monday, April 15, 2013
3rd and 4th Baseline Appointment
3rd Appointment April 13th
4th Appointment April 15th
My 3rd appointment on Saturday the 13th was the first baseline appointment that Eric was able to go with me to. I was so happy to have him there. We were in and out in about 20 minutes. I had my blood drawn and then the RE looked at my eggs on the ultra sound. My estrogen levels came back good (I forgot the number), my uterus lining looked good and the eggs were growing as expected. I'm not sure how many he counted on this day. I tried keeping up with the numbers as he was saying them, but I lost track. I just know that most measured about 15-18mm.
I woke up this morning over an hour after I usually take my 1st shot. I slept in because this was the 1st time I would have to do a shot by myself. Up to this point Eric has done all of them. I didn't bother setting my alarm, because I was sure that I would not be able to do it anyway. However, I had anxiety while getting it ready, but then I looked away and stuck it in! WOW! I did it. I called Eric and told him, he was still in charge of shots, because when I did it, I made myself bleed and it hurt afterwards.
My 4th appointment was today (only 2 days later) it went good too. I was alone for this one. This time I had my ultra sound before my blood work. In the right ovary he measured 10 eggs ranging from 12-22mm, 5 of those were over 20mm. In the left ovary he measured 13 eggs ranging from 14-23mm, 6 of those being over 20mm. He said that there were 4-5 more on each side under 5mm. I'm not sure why he even bothered mentioning these, I don't think these will be good ones. The big thing is that the RE told me that I am ready for egg retrieval!
I got my blood drawn and then saw my nurse. She went over my trigger (HCG) shot instructions. We have to take the shot at midnight tonight! But the good news is that, I don't have to take anymore shots for a while. I'm going to be so happy to give my tummy a rest from all the poking. I go in on Wednesday at 11am to get put under and then I get to have all my happy little eggs removed from me so they can meet up with Eric's happy little sperms :)
The nurse called later to tell me that my estrogen level came back at 4502! She went over OHSS (Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) again. She wanted to tell me that Ive been responding perfectly, and because my estrogen level is good and high, and I have a lot of eggs that I need to really watch for the signs of OHSS. I will need to keep extra hydrated. Yikes.
This might be TMI - but I feel kind of sad that the sperm that get released from Eric on the day they will meet up with my eggs, will have nothing to do with our passion for each other. He has to sit in a room all by himself and make them come out alone. Out of this whole process, this is the part that seems so sadly clinical to me.
I might have to put some thoughts together to come up with something for him ;)
4th Appointment April 15th
My 3rd appointment on Saturday the 13th was the first baseline appointment that Eric was able to go with me to. I was so happy to have him there. We were in and out in about 20 minutes. I had my blood drawn and then the RE looked at my eggs on the ultra sound. My estrogen levels came back good (I forgot the number), my uterus lining looked good and the eggs were growing as expected. I'm not sure how many he counted on this day. I tried keeping up with the numbers as he was saying them, but I lost track. I just know that most measured about 15-18mm.
I woke up this morning over an hour after I usually take my 1st shot. I slept in because this was the 1st time I would have to do a shot by myself. Up to this point Eric has done all of them. I didn't bother setting my alarm, because I was sure that I would not be able to do it anyway. However, I had anxiety while getting it ready, but then I looked away and stuck it in! WOW! I did it. I called Eric and told him, he was still in charge of shots, because when I did it, I made myself bleed and it hurt afterwards.
My 4th appointment was today (only 2 days later) it went good too. I was alone for this one. This time I had my ultra sound before my blood work. In the right ovary he measured 10 eggs ranging from 12-22mm, 5 of those were over 20mm. In the left ovary he measured 13 eggs ranging from 14-23mm, 6 of those being over 20mm. He said that there were 4-5 more on each side under 5mm. I'm not sure why he even bothered mentioning these, I don't think these will be good ones. The big thing is that the RE told me that I am ready for egg retrieval!
I got my blood drawn and then saw my nurse. She went over my trigger (HCG) shot instructions. We have to take the shot at midnight tonight! But the good news is that, I don't have to take anymore shots for a while. I'm going to be so happy to give my tummy a rest from all the poking. I go in on Wednesday at 11am to get put under and then I get to have all my happy little eggs removed from me so they can meet up with Eric's happy little sperms :)
The nurse called later to tell me that my estrogen level came back at 4502! She went over OHSS (Ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome) again. She wanted to tell me that Ive been responding perfectly, and because my estrogen level is good and high, and I have a lot of eggs that I need to really watch for the signs of OHSS. I will need to keep extra hydrated. Yikes.
This might be TMI - but I feel kind of sad that the sperm that get released from Eric on the day they will meet up with my eggs, will have nothing to do with our passion for each other. He has to sit in a room all by himself and make them come out alone. Out of this whole process, this is the part that seems so sadly clinical to me.
I might have to put some thoughts together to come up with something for him ;)
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
2nd Baseline Appointment
April 10th
I drive 2 1/2 hours.
I get to the office and they draw my blood, ick - more needles.
I saw my doctor a short time later and we shared a good conversation about 18 year old kids. I really like him and he is down to earth and very comforting. He has always been positive as well. I like him more and more each time I go.
He found only 10 eggs in each ovary. They are all growing as expected, all were 10-13mm. I was almost devastated about going from 27 eggs down to only 20. I asked him if I should worry and he said no. Again he was very positive, he didn't really explain why 7 went away. He did say that there might be more we cant see.
I cant help but feel sad. I know it only takes one good egg. But everything I know and read from other ladies is that after the retrieval not all that are taken out make it, and less will make it to freezing just in case this 1st try doest work.
I'm not getting any younger here! :(
My 2 1/2 drive home sucked, because my headache was killing me. When I got home I was able to take a good nap, but my head still hurts. The doctor said I could take Tylenol, but I feel that I don't want to be taking that everyday, so I'm trying to deal with each one until I cannot stand it anymore.
The office called later and said my estrogen level was good at 480 or 580, I cannot remember. I just know she said it was good and to continue with the same amount of injections.
I will see my little eggs for another sizing and count in 3 days.
I drive 2 1/2 hours.
I get to the office and they draw my blood, ick - more needles.
I saw my doctor a short time later and we shared a good conversation about 18 year old kids. I really like him and he is down to earth and very comforting. He has always been positive as well. I like him more and more each time I go.
He found only 10 eggs in each ovary. They are all growing as expected, all were 10-13mm. I was almost devastated about going from 27 eggs down to only 20. I asked him if I should worry and he said no. Again he was very positive, he didn't really explain why 7 went away. He did say that there might be more we cant see.
I cant help but feel sad. I know it only takes one good egg. But everything I know and read from other ladies is that after the retrieval not all that are taken out make it, and less will make it to freezing just in case this 1st try doest work.
I'm not getting any younger here! :(
My 2 1/2 drive home sucked, because my headache was killing me. When I got home I was able to take a good nap, but my head still hurts. The doctor said I could take Tylenol, but I feel that I don't want to be taking that everyday, so I'm trying to deal with each one until I cannot stand it anymore.
The office called later and said my estrogen level was good at 480 or 580, I cannot remember. I just know she said it was good and to continue with the same amount of injections.
I will see my little eggs for another sizing and count in 3 days.
1st IVF Baseline appointment
April 5th
Well this is really far from my 1st appointment.
I knew going there that I would be getting blood work done and having an ultrasound, and maybe I knew what was going on at this appointment, but it wasnt until I was leaving that I really realized where I am at in this whole process.
At this point I had been taking 10 units of Lupron for a little over two weeks. The Lupron was working at suppressing my ovulation cycle.
What I didn't realize is that when the doctor did the ultrasound he would actually be seeing this day how many eggs that are starting to grow. These eggs are the eggs that he will be removing soon to grow embryos and hopefully start our pregnancy.
The doctor found 13 eggs in one ovary and 14 in the other. I think I walked out of there feeling pregnant already. I had my hand on my belly and felt like I was protecting 27 little possible babies. Grow little beans, grow good for mommy.
Before I left the nurse gave me instructions to lower my Lupron to only 5 units that night and start taking FSH (Puregon) and HMG (Menogan) the next day. My official instructions were to take the HMG in the morning and then take the FSH 12 hours later. The HMG is a little complicated to mix because you have to break a little glass bottle with liquid in it, draw that up in the needle, then break two little glass bottles with powder in them and inject the liquid into each bottle, draw the new mixed liquid up and change the needle and then inject. The FSH is easy, it comes in a little vile that you put into a pen, dial the dose and inject. So I got to thinking that I should switch the two around because I have to take my morning shot at 5:30 so the pen would be easier to do. I called the doctor and he said that was fine.
After my appointment I went to have acupuncture for the 1st time. The lady was nice and the place felt comfortable. She talked with me for a while to find out about me, then she laid me on the table and started. Most needles I didn't feel going in, but I didn't really care for having a needle in my forehead and in my ears. Then I had to lay still for 15 minutes! She came in and felt the needles to make sure they were doing their job and then she left me for another 15 minutes! The waiting was harder then the needle pokes. I found out that I cannot really calm down and do nothing. I guess I would have slept like most people do, but because of the my needle phobia I couldn't relax enough to pass out. I tried to focus on the cause and to enjoy the music and clear my brain of all the junk in there.
That night I got my Lupron shot and I forgot to remind Eric to change the dose to only 5 units, so he injected 10 units. Yikes!
That led me to a night of freaking out and no sleep! Well I guess I slept at some point, because I had many nightmares that night. I was worried about the new shots in the morning and how we were going to manage getting them all done on time between our work schedules. I was freaked out that I wrecked the whole cycle by overdosing on the Lupron. I had intense dreams about the acupuncture. So intense that at one point I felt the needle go into my forehead but this time it hurt bad. My mind kept worrying about that overdose and the fact that I changed the schedule with the HMG and FSH, I kept feeling like I screwed up the whole thing.
Eric was amazing the next morning and he woke up on his own to get my shot ready and done. I called my doctor a few hours later and he said that it shouldn't make a difference and I will be fine and still on schedule.
So now we are at 3 shots a day and horrible headaches. I get to see how my eggs are growing in 5 days.
Well this is really far from my 1st appointment.
I knew going there that I would be getting blood work done and having an ultrasound, and maybe I knew what was going on at this appointment, but it wasnt until I was leaving that I really realized where I am at in this whole process.
At this point I had been taking 10 units of Lupron for a little over two weeks. The Lupron was working at suppressing my ovulation cycle.
What I didn't realize is that when the doctor did the ultrasound he would actually be seeing this day how many eggs that are starting to grow. These eggs are the eggs that he will be removing soon to grow embryos and hopefully start our pregnancy.
The doctor found 13 eggs in one ovary and 14 in the other. I think I walked out of there feeling pregnant already. I had my hand on my belly and felt like I was protecting 27 little possible babies. Grow little beans, grow good for mommy.
Before I left the nurse gave me instructions to lower my Lupron to only 5 units that night and start taking FSH (Puregon) and HMG (Menogan) the next day. My official instructions were to take the HMG in the morning and then take the FSH 12 hours later. The HMG is a little complicated to mix because you have to break a little glass bottle with liquid in it, draw that up in the needle, then break two little glass bottles with powder in them and inject the liquid into each bottle, draw the new mixed liquid up and change the needle and then inject. The FSH is easy, it comes in a little vile that you put into a pen, dial the dose and inject. So I got to thinking that I should switch the two around because I have to take my morning shot at 5:30 so the pen would be easier to do. I called the doctor and he said that was fine.
After my appointment I went to have acupuncture for the 1st time. The lady was nice and the place felt comfortable. She talked with me for a while to find out about me, then she laid me on the table and started. Most needles I didn't feel going in, but I didn't really care for having a needle in my forehead and in my ears. Then I had to lay still for 15 minutes! She came in and felt the needles to make sure they were doing their job and then she left me for another 15 minutes! The waiting was harder then the needle pokes. I found out that I cannot really calm down and do nothing. I guess I would have slept like most people do, but because of the my needle phobia I couldn't relax enough to pass out. I tried to focus on the cause and to enjoy the music and clear my brain of all the junk in there.
That night I got my Lupron shot and I forgot to remind Eric to change the dose to only 5 units, so he injected 10 units. Yikes!
That led me to a night of freaking out and no sleep! Well I guess I slept at some point, because I had many nightmares that night. I was worried about the new shots in the morning and how we were going to manage getting them all done on time between our work schedules. I was freaked out that I wrecked the whole cycle by overdosing on the Lupron. I had intense dreams about the acupuncture. So intense that at one point I felt the needle go into my forehead but this time it hurt bad. My mind kept worrying about that overdose and the fact that I changed the schedule with the HMG and FSH, I kept feeling like I screwed up the whole thing.
Eric was amazing the next morning and he woke up on his own to get my shot ready and done. I called my doctor a few hours later and he said that it shouldn't make a difference and I will be fine and still on schedule.
So now we are at 3 shots a day and horrible headaches. I get to see how my eggs are growing in 5 days.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
All my medications arrived
3/16/13
Check this out!
All my medications have officially arrived. I got a big box with a cold box inside of it on the 14th. Then on the 16th I got the remaining medications. I think the total for all these came to about $1800!
It was easy to spot the Lupron, which is the 1st medication I am starting with. It was also easy to pick out the needles that go with that, they were the smallest needles.
However after that I was in total loss. Between what my protocol says and what the names of these medications are called, just didn't match up to me. Then there are about 5 different needles and that again I couldn't seem to match up with anything. I thought I knew all the basics that I needed to know, but I spent 3-4 hours re-reading about each process and how each medication affects my cycle. I realized that I still don't understand it.
The good thing is, that I know I have to take the Lupron for the 1st two weeks and I know what bottle that is and which needle goes with it. Then I have a baseline ultrasound appointment the day before I start something new, and/or continue with Lupron, so I can just take all my stuff with me and my nurse will explain what goes with each thing and when to take it.
Check this out!
All my medications have officially arrived. I got a big box with a cold box inside of it on the 14th. Then on the 16th I got the remaining medications. I think the total for all these came to about $1800!
It was easy to spot the Lupron, which is the 1st medication I am starting with. It was also easy to pick out the needles that go with that, they were the smallest needles.
However after that I was in total loss. Between what my protocol says and what the names of these medications are called, just didn't match up to me. Then there are about 5 different needles and that again I couldn't seem to match up with anything. I thought I knew all the basics that I needed to know, but I spent 3-4 hours re-reading about each process and how each medication affects my cycle. I realized that I still don't understand it.
The good thing is, that I know I have to take the Lupron for the 1st two weeks and I know what bottle that is and which needle goes with it. Then I have a baseline ultrasound appointment the day before I start something new, and/or continue with Lupron, so I can just take all my stuff with me and my nurse will explain what goes with each thing and when to take it.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Catching up on the last month
First I have to say....YAY....a month has gone by. I'm now a month closer to our IVF!
BCPs
I started those on the 15th of February. I went to the pharmacy to get them and they were $175! Holy Cow! Teenage girls can go to the clinic and they pass these things out for FREE! I found out that was for a four month supply, so I did quick math in my head and only got half the prescription. I am supposed to take the 3 weeks of white pills, and skip the "period" week and continue onto the next 3 weeks of white pills until they tell me to stop taking them. When I went to visit my RE, I found out I was one pill short (pretty good quick math for not knowing my schedule!) The nurse said that was fine to stop one day early.
Trial Transfer and Hysteroscopy
On March 6th I went to have a trial transfer, hysteroscopy and get my protocol schedule explained to me. I think I expected to be there about an hour, but I was there for 3 hours! 1st was the trial transfer - that was very easy. He stuck a very tiny tube inside my vagina and measured how long my uterus was. 2nd - he took me into another room for the Hysteroscopy. He put another tube inside of me, this one was a little bigger then the other one (but still small), there was no pain. This time the tube shot water inside of me to open my uterus up so that he could use the camera and light to see what the inside looks like. He found a few polyps. I freaked out, but he said that they were very small and at the opening of the uterus so they would not effect implantation. I googled and found a YouTube video of a polyp inside the uterus and the one they show was huge in comparison to the ones I saw on my video. I'm sad for that lady, but it made me feel better that all the ones they talk about on the Internet are big and in the way, had he not pointed mine out to me then I wouldn't have even seen them. The nurse gave me a form that said I might have bleeding for 1-7 days after.
Bleeding :(
On the 2nd day, I was still bleeding a lot. I know the notice said 1-7 days, but that's normally just a worst case scenario, right? So I called the office and discussed my concern over feeling like I was on my period. Well come to find out, I was on the last pill of my 3rd week of BCPs so it seems I might have had some bleeding, and then I just started my period right after that. The nurse said "that's when you should start your period regularly" ..... I wanted to yell back, "Look at my chart, I have PCOS, and I am not regular" But WOW, why am I being so regular lately? I'm not complaining, I LOVE it, I feel like a regular woman who is fertile! Fertile! YAY *fingers crossed*
IVF Protocal
I spent the next two hours the day of my appointment with my nurse. The 1st hour I went over all my questions that I came up with from spending too many hours on the Internet reading everything about IVF. She spent a good amount of time helping me understand statistics and home remedies and we talked about my weight too. The thing that sticks out is that she said for the past two years my RE has had a 50% success rate! Woo Hoo! That is high in the world if IVF. She also said that I need to continue eating healthy and maintaining a good work-out routine, however my body size is not going to prevent me from getting pregnant. Woo Hoo again! I wanted to hug her, I almost cried.
Then she went on to my schedule and here it is:
3/6 Continue Metformin and start Baby Aspirin
3/22 Start 10 units of Lupron
3/28 Last BCP
3/31 Doxzycycline 100mg
4/5 Baseline U/S and Labs. Decrease Lupron the 5 units
4/6 HMG 150 iu. FSH 150 iu
4/10 Day 5 Baseline U/S and Labs
4/13 Day 8 Baseline U/S and Labs
4/15 Day 10 Baseline U/S and Labs. Possible HCG trigger shot
4/17 EGG RETRIEVAL
4/19 Progesterone 1ml
4/22 **Hopeful for a Day 5 EGG TRANSFER
4/23 Continue Progesterone injections and start vaginal progesterone
The nurse went over all the dates and why we are doing each thing, she went over how to give myself injections and went over all the medications she ordered for me. I was so ready for my schedule and to know all this stuff, so it was odd to me that I must have looked completely frozen or something, because she looked at me and asked if I was okay and if I needed a break. I told her to continue, because she was almost done, but I was anxious for my appointment to be over so I could sit in my car, turn on the radio and take a mental break. Before I could do that, there was more blood work to be done, dang!
It really was A LOT to take in. Ordering medications, organizing shipping and payments, learning how to give myself shots everyday, managing all the dates and times, figuring out how to balance work and driving 2.5 hours to each appointment. I really need to learn how to take one day at a time.
Now the waiting
I gather that for the next few months I will feel anxious quite a bit over waiting for the next step. Right now I am waiting for all my medications to arrive. I should get all the Lupron tomorrow, and the HMG and FSH a few days later. 9 more days until I start poking myself. Oh yeah...I'm totally making Eric do it! :) I watched videos on this too and I'm still scarred. Yes I am chicken of needles. Not looking forward to being a pin cushion! LOL
BCPs
I started those on the 15th of February. I went to the pharmacy to get them and they were $175! Holy Cow! Teenage girls can go to the clinic and they pass these things out for FREE! I found out that was for a four month supply, so I did quick math in my head and only got half the prescription. I am supposed to take the 3 weeks of white pills, and skip the "period" week and continue onto the next 3 weeks of white pills until they tell me to stop taking them. When I went to visit my RE, I found out I was one pill short (pretty good quick math for not knowing my schedule!) The nurse said that was fine to stop one day early.
Trial Transfer and Hysteroscopy
On March 6th I went to have a trial transfer, hysteroscopy and get my protocol schedule explained to me. I think I expected to be there about an hour, but I was there for 3 hours! 1st was the trial transfer - that was very easy. He stuck a very tiny tube inside my vagina and measured how long my uterus was. 2nd - he took me into another room for the Hysteroscopy. He put another tube inside of me, this one was a little bigger then the other one (but still small), there was no pain. This time the tube shot water inside of me to open my uterus up so that he could use the camera and light to see what the inside looks like. He found a few polyps. I freaked out, but he said that they were very small and at the opening of the uterus so they would not effect implantation. I googled and found a YouTube video of a polyp inside the uterus and the one they show was huge in comparison to the ones I saw on my video. I'm sad for that lady, but it made me feel better that all the ones they talk about on the Internet are big and in the way, had he not pointed mine out to me then I wouldn't have even seen them. The nurse gave me a form that said I might have bleeding for 1-7 days after.
Bleeding :(
On the 2nd day, I was still bleeding a lot. I know the notice said 1-7 days, but that's normally just a worst case scenario, right? So I called the office and discussed my concern over feeling like I was on my period. Well come to find out, I was on the last pill of my 3rd week of BCPs so it seems I might have had some bleeding, and then I just started my period right after that. The nurse said "that's when you should start your period regularly" ..... I wanted to yell back, "Look at my chart, I have PCOS, and I am not regular" But WOW, why am I being so regular lately? I'm not complaining, I LOVE it, I feel like a regular woman who is fertile! Fertile! YAY *fingers crossed*
IVF Protocal
I spent the next two hours the day of my appointment with my nurse. The 1st hour I went over all my questions that I came up with from spending too many hours on the Internet reading everything about IVF. She spent a good amount of time helping me understand statistics and home remedies and we talked about my weight too. The thing that sticks out is that she said for the past two years my RE has had a 50% success rate! Woo Hoo! That is high in the world if IVF. She also said that I need to continue eating healthy and maintaining a good work-out routine, however my body size is not going to prevent me from getting pregnant. Woo Hoo again! I wanted to hug her, I almost cried.
Then she went on to my schedule and here it is:
3/6 Continue Metformin and start Baby Aspirin
3/22 Start 10 units of Lupron
3/28 Last BCP
3/31 Doxzycycline 100mg
4/5 Baseline U/S and Labs. Decrease Lupron the 5 units
4/6 HMG 150 iu. FSH 150 iu
4/10 Day 5 Baseline U/S and Labs
4/13 Day 8 Baseline U/S and Labs
4/15 Day 10 Baseline U/S and Labs. Possible HCG trigger shot
4/17 EGG RETRIEVAL
4/19 Progesterone 1ml
4/22 **Hopeful for a Day 5 EGG TRANSFER
4/23 Continue Progesterone injections and start vaginal progesterone
The nurse went over all the dates and why we are doing each thing, she went over how to give myself injections and went over all the medications she ordered for me. I was so ready for my schedule and to know all this stuff, so it was odd to me that I must have looked completely frozen or something, because she looked at me and asked if I was okay and if I needed a break. I told her to continue, because she was almost done, but I was anxious for my appointment to be over so I could sit in my car, turn on the radio and take a mental break. Before I could do that, there was more blood work to be done, dang!
It really was A LOT to take in. Ordering medications, organizing shipping and payments, learning how to give myself shots everyday, managing all the dates and times, figuring out how to balance work and driving 2.5 hours to each appointment. I really need to learn how to take one day at a time.
Now the waiting
I gather that for the next few months I will feel anxious quite a bit over waiting for the next step. Right now I am waiting for all my medications to arrive. I should get all the Lupron tomorrow, and the HMG and FSH a few days later. 9 more days until I start poking myself. Oh yeah...I'm totally making Eric do it! :) I watched videos on this too and I'm still scarred. Yes I am chicken of needles. Not looking forward to being a pin cushion! LOL
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
No Stress and Scheulde Changes
Its the Metformin!
I texted my hunny on the way to the gym yesterday to tell him my heart was still racing. He said I should call the RE and see if there is some side effect to the Metformin. I was too worried to call my RE because I didn't want them taking me off the Metformin or needing to change my IVF to a later date (I'm not sure that would have been what they would have done, I just worry lots, lol). I'm stubborn and I want to be on the Metformin, because I feel it will have the best benefits working with my PCOS to help my fertility. I also don't want to quit my diet, because even though Ive only lost 5 pounds, I want a chance at loosing more!
So instead of calling my RE, I called the pharmacist. At first he told me that my heart racing or beating hard was not a side effect of Metformin. We talked for a bit and his 1st question to me was "have you tested your blood sugar and is it low?" Metformin is mainly used to help diabetics, so I got to explain to him how I have PCOS and I am going through IVF and was prescribed this to help with fertility. Then because I talk a lot I went on about how I am currently on a strict PCOS diet to restrict sugars and carbs - aka more sugar. He gave me some great ideas on adding in more healthy sugars, he was unsure what the PCOS diet allows, but talking together with him to figure out what the restrictions are and what I might need to raise my blood sugar levels ended up being a great conversation and I felt very excited with this new knowledge!
I still decided to skip the gym. I was determined to go when I though my heart was pounding from stress, because I wanted to release those healthy endorphins and feel good. However because I could be in danger of passing out, I figured I would play it safe and go home. I know that's what Eric wanted to hear too.
Change of plans
I got home and went to the restroom to discover that I was about to start my period! REALLY? Dang, I was really looking forward to my Trial Transfer appointment this Friday. It did give me a good reason to call the office and talk with them about my blood sugar levels and find out where my schedule is.
My TT was rescheduled for March 6th. This was good because I was able to call my acupuncturist to see if she has an appointment available for that date as well. She hasn't called back yet, but I'm sure that will be good notice to be able to get in to meet with her and try out acupuncture for the 1st time.
I also get to start BCPs soon now. This is where IVF gets to be really fascinating for me. The start of my BCP will be the very beginning of when they are starting to control my ovulation cycle. So on the 3rd day of my period I will start taking the 1st BCP. I will take the 3 weeks of pills and instead of taking the "period week" of pills, I will throw them away and continue onto the 1st pill of a new pack. This will almost be like a fun count down for me! Right now I am figuring that I should be on these for 6-7 weeks, then they will be giving me all the shots and stuff to control my ovulation for ER and ET. That's the part I am anxious for!!! Bring it on!
As for a schedule.....I'm still guessing, because yesterday I asked if there was one for me yet.....there is not :(
Monday, February 11, 2013
Cute Date Night Story
When I met Eric I was so shy, so all I could manage to do was quickly hand my phone number to his friend and leave the bar before I could see his reaction.
He ended up calling me a few days later and asked me out on a date. We both love pizza so we met at a wonderful pizza place on February 10th, 2010. We just clicked and we had so much to talk about with each other. And just like in the movies, at the end of the night, the manager came to our table and had to tell us that the restaurant was closed! I really had no idea we were there that long!
On February 10th, 2011, I had to work a late shift, so for our anniversary Eric brought a pizza from this restaurant over to my work for my break and he brought champagne glasses for us to drink soda out of. He even came dressed up in a double breasted jacket! It was the sweetest most romantic moment ever!
On February 10th, 2012 we had our 2nd anniversary at our favorite restaurant.
We got married in September 2012 and planned a whole weekend wedding party around us and our life. So we had our rehearsal dinner party at this restaurant, the night before our wedding. My mom thought it was crazy to have this dinner at a pizza place. I said "Mom, this is gourmet pizza!"
When we were there for the rehearsal dinner, I went up to the bar and saw Buddha. I was messing with him and the waitress said "Be careful that is a fertility Buddha" - I said "Can I take him home!" :)
He ended up calling me a few days later and asked me out on a date. We both love pizza so we met at a wonderful pizza place on February 10th, 2010. We just clicked and we had so much to talk about with each other. And just like in the movies, at the end of the night, the manager came to our table and had to tell us that the restaurant was closed! I really had no idea we were there that long!
On February 10th, 2011, I had to work a late shift, so for our anniversary Eric brought a pizza from this restaurant over to my work for my break and he brought champagne glasses for us to drink soda out of. He even came dressed up in a double breasted jacket! It was the sweetest most romantic moment ever!
On February 10th, 2012 we had our 2nd anniversary at our favorite restaurant.
We got married in September 2012 and planned a whole weekend wedding party around us and our life. So we had our rehearsal dinner party at this restaurant, the night before our wedding. My mom thought it was crazy to have this dinner at a pizza place. I said "Mom, this is gourmet pizza!"
When we were there for the rehearsal dinner, I went up to the bar and saw Buddha. I was messing with him and the waitress said "Be careful that is a fertility Buddha" - I said "Can I take him home!" :)
Last night we decided to not call February 10th our anniversary anymore since we are married, but it is now our Valentines day! So we had our 3rd Valentines day together and rubbed Buddhas belly together.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Stress and Good News
I'm worried about stress.
That's just the way I am. I worry and stress so much! I have been working on breathing and listening to calming music and trying remain calmer about things out of my control. However there are times when I am sitting down being quiet and I don't think that I am thinking about anything but my heart seems to be heavily pounding, and I realize that I actually am stressing about something on the back of my mind.
Its crazy how much there is in life to take care of and deal with, yet somehow we are supposed to focus on controlling stress. Well I'm stressed about my stress levels! This weight loss thing is not helping me. I'm down to 204, after three weeks of eating VERY healthy, and working out more, I would have hoped to drop at least under 200 by now :( My mom says its because I have too much stress in my life.....
Oh really? You don't say? But what do I do? I have to work, and I have to take care of the kids, husband and home, I have to manage schedules and make sure everything comes together, and on top of that I have major goals right now like weight loss and IVF. How would anyone have all these things going on and not have any stress?
Celebrate the good things! That helps me feel happy and I love being happy and that puts stress on the back burner for a while!
A ray of light and good news.
I found an acupuncturist, that I fell in love with! In one simple phone call, my stress levels dropped and I was able to tell that I love her personality and I cannot wait to meet her. I was reading forums and blogs, and IVF success stories, and I kept seeing acupuncture as one thing that women with success say that they think was the key factor in their positive pregnancy test. I read that it is most successful when it is done 30 minutes before egg transfer and then 30 minutes after egg transfer.
30 minutes before and 30 minutes after? I'm thinking about how the RE is going to keep me lying down for an hour after the ET, so how am I going to get out of the office to get acupuncture done in that time frame? I guess Ill settle for having it done right after I leave the office. One lady on a forum said that her acupuncturist came to the office and was able to perform the acupuncture before and after.
So I started doing research and making calls to acupuncturists in the same city as my RE, and finding out which one would work with me, without really having a fixed time that this could be done. ET is done 3-5 days after the egg retrieval, it just depends on how growth rate of the eggs. So I cannot make a regular appointment. I found one lady who was nice and willing to work with me last minute when that time came.
BUT THEN....I got a call from a lady returning my message and she had worked with my RE before and she will go to his office and do the acupuncture before and after my RT right in his office!!! SCORE!! I guess I could have just called my RE and asked if they recommend anyone, lol. I liked my way better because I did the hard work and I feel that I am appreciating the results much better!! :)
For now:
Lord help me this week! I will be a crazy woman running to my mail box all week looking for my schedule! Thank God I only have 4 days of that and then on Friday I will be up there and if the nurse hasn't mailed it, maybe she can give it to me. **finger crossed** I want my precious schedule!
Friday Eric had blood work done. I'm not sure why but they required him to have an HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis tests done. He had a busy week at work, but finally got those tests done a few days ago.
Tonight is our 3rd anniversary of our 1st date! :) Every year we go back the place of our 1st date and have dinner together. We also choose this restaurant to have our wedding rehearsal dinner at. I love the wonderful memories and the good times. Oh...I love Eric!! :P
That's just the way I am. I worry and stress so much! I have been working on breathing and listening to calming music and trying remain calmer about things out of my control. However there are times when I am sitting down being quiet and I don't think that I am thinking about anything but my heart seems to be heavily pounding, and I realize that I actually am stressing about something on the back of my mind.
Its crazy how much there is in life to take care of and deal with, yet somehow we are supposed to focus on controlling stress. Well I'm stressed about my stress levels! This weight loss thing is not helping me. I'm down to 204, after three weeks of eating VERY healthy, and working out more, I would have hoped to drop at least under 200 by now :( My mom says its because I have too much stress in my life.....
Oh really? You don't say? But what do I do? I have to work, and I have to take care of the kids, husband and home, I have to manage schedules and make sure everything comes together, and on top of that I have major goals right now like weight loss and IVF. How would anyone have all these things going on and not have any stress?
Celebrate the good things! That helps me feel happy and I love being happy and that puts stress on the back burner for a while!
A ray of light and good news.
I found an acupuncturist, that I fell in love with! In one simple phone call, my stress levels dropped and I was able to tell that I love her personality and I cannot wait to meet her. I was reading forums and blogs, and IVF success stories, and I kept seeing acupuncture as one thing that women with success say that they think was the key factor in their positive pregnancy test. I read that it is most successful when it is done 30 minutes before egg transfer and then 30 minutes after egg transfer.
30 minutes before and 30 minutes after? I'm thinking about how the RE is going to keep me lying down for an hour after the ET, so how am I going to get out of the office to get acupuncture done in that time frame? I guess Ill settle for having it done right after I leave the office. One lady on a forum said that her acupuncturist came to the office and was able to perform the acupuncture before and after.
So I started doing research and making calls to acupuncturists in the same city as my RE, and finding out which one would work with me, without really having a fixed time that this could be done. ET is done 3-5 days after the egg retrieval, it just depends on how growth rate of the eggs. So I cannot make a regular appointment. I found one lady who was nice and willing to work with me last minute when that time came.
BUT THEN....I got a call from a lady returning my message and she had worked with my RE before and she will go to his office and do the acupuncture before and after my RT right in his office!!! SCORE!! I guess I could have just called my RE and asked if they recommend anyone, lol. I liked my way better because I did the hard work and I feel that I am appreciating the results much better!! :)
For now:
Lord help me this week! I will be a crazy woman running to my mail box all week looking for my schedule! Thank God I only have 4 days of that and then on Friday I will be up there and if the nurse hasn't mailed it, maybe she can give it to me. **finger crossed** I want my precious schedule!
Friday Eric had blood work done. I'm not sure why but they required him to have an HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis tests done. He had a busy week at work, but finally got those tests done a few days ago.
Tonight is our 3rd anniversary of our 1st date! :) Every year we go back the place of our 1st date and have dinner together. We also choose this restaurant to have our wedding rehearsal dinner at. I love the wonderful memories and the good times. Oh...I love Eric!! :P
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Plans for February
Hello February -
On the February list: Weight management, Trial Transfer, Metformin and maybe Birth Control Pills and the SCHEDULE!
This month should be the month that I am kind of free from any major IVF stuff. So I need to work out, work out, work out and loose some weight.
My Weight
Here it goes world - - - - I admit I weigh 207 pounds :(
This weight really bothers me, because I have changed my diet and over the last 3 weeks I have been strict. I am keeping carbs under about 20 a day! I am not drinking alcohol or caffeine drinks. I am eating veggies and low calorie items. I have read and followed PCOS diet plans. 3 weeks ago I started out at 208, I dropped down to 204 at one point but on average my weight has stayed at 206.
February - I plan to hit the gym hard, it seems that is where I am going to leave some extra pounds at. I figure if I am eating healthy and maintaining weight, then I need to work it off. (This also pisses me off, because I was maintaining the same weight while drinking, eating yummy pizzas, enjoying my favorite Mexican food, drinking soda and the once a week beer, fries and cheese sauce with my Lisa buddy)
The Trial Transfer
This is scheduled for Friday February 15th. I heard it is easy so I make the 2.5 hour drive alone, have it done and maybe visit my mother-in-law and make it home in time to cook dinner. Im not too worried about this test, just the bill! This one is expensive :)
Metformin
Many years ago I used to take Glucophage (Metformin is a similar/same medication). It was in 1999, I was wondering why I couldn't get pregnant, I saw a doctor and this is when I was diagnosed me with PCOS and he put me on Glucophage to assist with fertility. Its supposed to control your body's insulin. The side effects are horrible so doctors will start you off on one pill a day for a week, then two a day for a week, then up to three pills (1500mg) each day. Last time I didn't get past the one a day! I cramped so bad!! I'm happy to report that I started taking Metformin 6 days ago, and I bumped myself up to two pills 2 days ago. I'm taking both at nighttime and I just read a blog about time released Metformin working well, I don't have those, so I think I will start taking one at night and one in the morning, then if I tolerate that I will start taking the 3 pills at different times of the day. I'm just really excited that so far Im not having pain!
With all the reading about IVF I do, I found many stories and articles about the benefits of Metformin on fertility and weight loss, so I called my RE's office and asked if that was going to be part of the meds I would be taking. I was disappointed to have her put me on them the next day. The disappointment was because it seemed like if I didn't make that call that I wouldn't be on them right now and I talked with a gal whos RE said, after a failed IVF, that she should have been on the Metformin longer (and she was on it for 3 months, same as I will be).
Birth Control Pills
With the disappointment over having to ask to be put on Metformin, I'm a little worried about this schedule that the nurse is creating and the fact that she is waiting for AF (aunt flow) to start so she can start me on BCPs. 1st of all my AF is not regular, so it most likely wont start on its own, and I'm looking at the calendar thinking that there is only 2 months left before my April IVF, that doesn't seem like enough time to start seeing where my regular cycle is and I know from what Ive read that I will stop the BCPs before I start shots (I'm pretty sure anyway). I guess I will need to call the office tomorrow and find out what the plan is, so that I can settle down about the time frame left.
My Schedule
Please Please Please I want to get this soon. I was told she was writing it this week and then she will mail it to me. I will be looking forward to that so that I can figure out what they are doing with me and if the IVF is at the beginning of April, the middle or the end. Geeze!
Pregnancy keeps going through my mind. Am I ready, are the kids ready? We are spending sooo much money, are we waisting it? One of my good friends just found out she is pregnant, I'm so happy for her, I made me look in the future, I worried how much it will hurt if IVF doesn't work for us when others are having babies. That same day I found out about her baby, I got to hold a co-workers new born grand-baby, I want to hold my own newborn soon. How bad do I want this? Will I find that after a failed IVF, I am pushing to try again and again? My chances are good, but my weight and age could be a factor. If I spend time fighting my weight battle, my age will increase and hurt chances more.
Please let this 1st time work.
On the February list: Weight management, Trial Transfer, Metformin and maybe Birth Control Pills and the SCHEDULE!
This month should be the month that I am kind of free from any major IVF stuff. So I need to work out, work out, work out and loose some weight.
My Weight
Here it goes world - - - - I admit I weigh 207 pounds :(
This weight really bothers me, because I have changed my diet and over the last 3 weeks I have been strict. I am keeping carbs under about 20 a day! I am not drinking alcohol or caffeine drinks. I am eating veggies and low calorie items. I have read and followed PCOS diet plans. 3 weeks ago I started out at 208, I dropped down to 204 at one point but on average my weight has stayed at 206.
February - I plan to hit the gym hard, it seems that is where I am going to leave some extra pounds at. I figure if I am eating healthy and maintaining weight, then I need to work it off. (This also pisses me off, because I was maintaining the same weight while drinking, eating yummy pizzas, enjoying my favorite Mexican food, drinking soda and the once a week beer, fries and cheese sauce with my Lisa buddy)
The Trial Transfer
This is scheduled for Friday February 15th. I heard it is easy so I make the 2.5 hour drive alone, have it done and maybe visit my mother-in-law and make it home in time to cook dinner. Im not too worried about this test, just the bill! This one is expensive :)
Metformin
Many years ago I used to take Glucophage (Metformin is a similar/same medication). It was in 1999, I was wondering why I couldn't get pregnant, I saw a doctor and this is when I was diagnosed me with PCOS and he put me on Glucophage to assist with fertility. Its supposed to control your body's insulin. The side effects are horrible so doctors will start you off on one pill a day for a week, then two a day for a week, then up to three pills (1500mg) each day. Last time I didn't get past the one a day! I cramped so bad!! I'm happy to report that I started taking Metformin 6 days ago, and I bumped myself up to two pills 2 days ago. I'm taking both at nighttime and I just read a blog about time released Metformin working well, I don't have those, so I think I will start taking one at night and one in the morning, then if I tolerate that I will start taking the 3 pills at different times of the day. I'm just really excited that so far Im not having pain!
With all the reading about IVF I do, I found many stories and articles about the benefits of Metformin on fertility and weight loss, so I called my RE's office and asked if that was going to be part of the meds I would be taking. I was disappointed to have her put me on them the next day. The disappointment was because it seemed like if I didn't make that call that I wouldn't be on them right now and I talked with a gal whos RE said, after a failed IVF, that she should have been on the Metformin longer (and she was on it for 3 months, same as I will be).
Birth Control Pills
With the disappointment over having to ask to be put on Metformin, I'm a little worried about this schedule that the nurse is creating and the fact that she is waiting for AF (aunt flow) to start so she can start me on BCPs. 1st of all my AF is not regular, so it most likely wont start on its own, and I'm looking at the calendar thinking that there is only 2 months left before my April IVF, that doesn't seem like enough time to start seeing where my regular cycle is and I know from what Ive read that I will stop the BCPs before I start shots (I'm pretty sure anyway). I guess I will need to call the office tomorrow and find out what the plan is, so that I can settle down about the time frame left.
My Schedule
Please Please Please I want to get this soon. I was told she was writing it this week and then she will mail it to me. I will be looking forward to that so that I can figure out what they are doing with me and if the IVF is at the beginning of April, the middle or the end. Geeze!
Pregnancy keeps going through my mind. Am I ready, are the kids ready? We are spending sooo much money, are we waisting it? One of my good friends just found out she is pregnant, I'm so happy for her, I made me look in the future, I worried how much it will hurt if IVF doesn't work for us when others are having babies. That same day I found out about her baby, I got to hold a co-workers new born grand-baby, I want to hold my own newborn soon. How bad do I want this? Will I find that after a failed IVF, I am pushing to try again and again? My chances are good, but my weight and age could be a factor. If I spend time fighting my weight battle, my age will increase and hurt chances more.
Please let this 1st time work.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Watching the Calendar
TIME GOES BY SO SLOW!
In the last week, I found out that my obsession on IVF is normal, yay!
I also found it awesome to have a connection with another female going through the same thing.
From her I learned, or rather I confirmed, that I HAVE to loose weight.
I'm banking on this working the first time, so far our chances for that look good - except for my extra weight (my RE didn't seem concerned about it, but I am). So it needs to go away! I have nothing better to do over the next 2 months while I'm not on medications yet. If it makes our chance of success higher, then I will be at the gym everyday and count every calorie!
Yesterday was good - I had oatmeal for breakfast, an apple for a snack, cereal for lunch, and a chicken salad for dinner. I think I can cut more carbs out as the week goes on. I made it to the gym and did 30 minutes of cardio. I hope I can keep this up for another 8 weeks!
I went to Trader Joe's yesterday to get Flax Seed (this always helps me eat less, I put it on almost everything!), while I was there I finally picked up my prenatal vitamins that the doctor suggested. I walked up the the counter and the very nice lady looked at me, then she said, in friendly conversation "Are these for you?" I said "Yes", then she said "Congratulations" with a big smile. I realized that I was smiling but I couldn't really keep eye contact with her when I responded about how I'm not pregnant and my doctor said to start taking them while I am trying. I was-I am excited about starting my vitamins, it feels good to be starting this process, but I found myself stumbling over an answer in my head. I should have just said that I am starting a fertility treatment, but by the time the right words formed I was already walking out.....feeling a little awkward. I realized too, that I looked like a hag with my gym clothes on and my hair a mess from sweat and ikyness.
As my mind was racing through words, she went on to be excited for me, and said something like "I thought you didn't look pregnant" She wished me luck and said something about following my process. She was nice. Its just so odd to me that I was awkward. Was it because I was focused on why she hesitated to ask me if they were for me? Did she think I was too old? Why am I worried about what she thinks of my age? I'm overweight so how could she tell for sure that I "didn't look pregnant"? I'm sure she was being friendly, and she hesitated because you probably should not ask a stranger if she is pregnant unless you are positive by the baby bump, lol. My head is filled with it's own worries.
I am a classic over thinker!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Im crazy/obsessed - lol
Mental issues: I'm obsessed! I spend every free moment reading other peoples IVF stories, I watch videos and I read and re-read all the information I can possibly find. I feel like I want to know EVERYTHING! I feel so crazy and anxious. Well one good thing is that from all the forums and blogs I've read - This crazy/obsessed feeling is totally normal! (Thanks Internet ghost friends for helping me feel a little better, lol) One thing I am learning the most is that each story is different. IVF might be one big thing that is almost a regular thing to do now, but there are so many factors involved that getting statistics is hard. Between medical issues, medical history, age, weight, sperm function, egg function, family history, and the miracle of life itself its hard to look at others for advice on what might happen in mine or any one's situation. My advice to anyone in our shoes is: Knowledge is power and read all the sucess stories you can find (they will make you feel good inside!)
I also realized this weekend that I battle with another overwhelming emotion: Do I tell everyone or not? As I was sitting with a group of friends, I want to just tell them all about this whole thing, I want to share with them that we could be expecting a baby soon, that we are trying! However with IVF chances being at about 70-40% for us, I think that I shouldn't be blabbing about it. It could be sad for those who are happy for us, and it could be hard on us if it doesn't work and everyone knows that it failed. I'm just so excited (well and obsessed now) that its really all I want to talk about.
My nurse called today and all our blood work and results are back. She said that everything with me and hubby look good for us to continue forward.
She said to call her when my period starts - Ohhh no, here we go again. ALL my life my period has been out of whack. Then this year I have been almost having normal cycles. It started on July 4th and continued in August, September, October, and November. I didn't have one in December but then the very last of that month one started. Now here I am again having to wait for another one. So will one start in February?? The nurse said if I don't start by the 1st week to call her and they will give me meds to make one start so they can do more blood work while I am ovulating.
I'm watching my calendar so intensely - it has to be un-normal. This is the obsessive part where I am counting months and days and figuring out how many ovulation cycles they could possibly track before my scheduled IVF in April. April its so FAR away - wait, its actually only 3 months away. Oh 3 months is so close and so far away at the same time!
OOOOHHHH! Much EXCITEMENT! The nurse did tell me that she would be making a complete calendar at the end of this month and send it to me. This calendar will be a map of the next 3 months to tell us when we take meds, have ultrasounds, egg retrieval, implantation AND pregnancy tests. Just to hear her say pregnancy tests made my heart skip a beat. Actually Ive read all about these things, I know the order everything happens in, but to hear her say all that in reference to OUR schedule made me want to go out and scream happiness to the world!!!
Crazy me will be at the mail box every day the last week of this month and 1st of next month .... waiting....waiting.....waiting for OUR personal IVF schedule!!! WOOO HOOO!! (If you know me, you know I HATE the mail, I NEVER check it! LOL)
So for January, I have a pap smear scheduled with my wonderful doctor who referred me to my RE. I guess in February is when they will be scheduling my trial transfer to make sure they can implant the eggs with ease.
Its so exciting!
I also realized this weekend that I battle with another overwhelming emotion: Do I tell everyone or not? As I was sitting with a group of friends, I want to just tell them all about this whole thing, I want to share with them that we could be expecting a baby soon, that we are trying! However with IVF chances being at about 70-40% for us, I think that I shouldn't be blabbing about it. It could be sad for those who are happy for us, and it could be hard on us if it doesn't work and everyone knows that it failed. I'm just so excited (well and obsessed now) that its really all I want to talk about.
My nurse called today and all our blood work and results are back. She said that everything with me and hubby look good for us to continue forward.
She said to call her when my period starts - Ohhh no, here we go again. ALL my life my period has been out of whack. Then this year I have been almost having normal cycles. It started on July 4th and continued in August, September, October, and November. I didn't have one in December but then the very last of that month one started. Now here I am again having to wait for another one. So will one start in February?? The nurse said if I don't start by the 1st week to call her and they will give me meds to make one start so they can do more blood work while I am ovulating.
I'm watching my calendar so intensely - it has to be un-normal. This is the obsessive part where I am counting months and days and figuring out how many ovulation cycles they could possibly track before my scheduled IVF in April. April its so FAR away - wait, its actually only 3 months away. Oh 3 months is so close and so far away at the same time!
OOOOHHHH! Much EXCITEMENT! The nurse did tell me that she would be making a complete calendar at the end of this month and send it to me. This calendar will be a map of the next 3 months to tell us when we take meds, have ultrasounds, egg retrieval, implantation AND pregnancy tests. Just to hear her say pregnancy tests made my heart skip a beat. Actually Ive read all about these things, I know the order everything happens in, but to hear her say all that in reference to OUR schedule made me want to go out and scream happiness to the world!!!
Crazy me will be at the mail box every day the last week of this month and 1st of next month .... waiting....waiting.....waiting for OUR personal IVF schedule!!! WOOO HOOO!! (If you know me, you know I HATE the mail, I NEVER check it! LOL)
So for January, I have a pap smear scheduled with my wonderful doctor who referred me to my RE. I guess in February is when they will be scheduling my trial transfer to make sure they can implant the eggs with ease.
Its so exciting!
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